Happy Full Moon Goddesses,
The Aquarius Full Moon this week is on the Leo/Aquarius axis. And for those of you who have been rocking with me, you know that I love to sit with this energy for a minute and assess all the ways it shows up for me in my own life before sitting down with you all to invite you to see how it may be showing up in your own.
When I think of Leo, I think of main character energy. Fun, vibrant, on the stage of your life, and loving, and/or maybe not, the performance that you are putting on for the audience.
Aquarius energy is the audience, the collective, the group who may or may not be aware that they are there for the performance, but who may also inform how we show up as individuals within the collective.
Taken together, this axis invites us to tap into our own main-character energy, be creative, be bold, show up, and let the world be part of our lived experience.
While sitting with this energy, a couple of lessons came to me, and if you will indulge me, I'd like to share them with you before sharing our tarot spread for this Full Moon lunation.
Recently, I learned that one of my favorite teachers, Ms. Oprah Winfrey, name is actually spelled Orpah on her birth certificate. She was named after Orpah in the Bible from the Ruth and Naomi story.
If you don't know it, Naomi lost her husband and sons and decided to return to her homeland. She implored her daughters-in-law to stay in their own homeland. Ruth said no; she would follow Naomi wherever she may go, whereas Orpah, with great hesitation and tears, eventually returned to her homeland as Naomi had insisted.
The thing is, in the Bible, that is where the story stops for Orpah.
But centuries later, biblical and Judaic commentary and interpretations came that vilified Orpah for that choice, attaching all kinds of meaning to her decision and her character that weren't actually in the biblical story. We really don't know what happened to Orpah after she returned home, nor could she defend herself against the stories that would eventually be told about her.
I found that intriguing because Oprah Winfrey was named after her.
The thing is, Oprah's family had difficulty pronouncing her name. So she became Oprah and didn't realize until years later that Orpah was actually the name on her birth certificate.
But if you know anything about Ms. Winfrey, even as a little girl she has said that she knew she was going to do something bigger than herself. She knew she would become a millionaire. She is actually a billionaire but didn't know what that was at the time. And even in her 20s, she had the audacity to say she would become a mogul.
After her Academy Award-nominated performance in The Color Purple, she knew she wanted to OWN herself from that point forward. She didn't want to have to ask someone else for permission or give up her vacation time to pursue something she wanted to do.
And the more I thought about Orpah and Oprah, I liked thinking that in some way Oprah redeemed Orpah.
Orpah's story didn't change, but somehow the name got another story.
I looked it up, and Oprah is a rare name. There was a small surge of parents who named their children Oprah in the 80s, but even that was few and far between. Good, bad, or ugly, when you hear the name Oprah, there is only one person/thing/concept you think about.
Ms. Oprah Winfrey defined the name Oprah.
That is so Leo. I can't think of a better example. Well, I can, but that is the one I am choosing to write about today.
This got me to thinking about a class I taught in my supervision group in April 2025. I will link it below if you would like to listen to it. In it, we explore:
What's your name?
What does it mean?
Who gave it to you?
Why?
What did they hope or intend?
What do you feel when somebody says it?
Do you like it?
What identities have you attached to it?
We use things like astrology and tarot to get to know ourselves, but what if we started with something as basic as our name? What if knowing what someone is invoking every time they say our name could help us understand and lean more deeply into who we are?
That's very Leo to me in this context:
Before asking how the world sees you, become curious about who you know yourself to be.
And then comes Aquarius.
Aquarius: Now take your name into the room.
Because the moment you enter community, something happens:
Other people start naming you too.
Not necessarily literally, but everyone we are in relationship with has their own experience and understanding of who we are. Our families have a version of us. Our friends have a version. The communities we belong to have a version. And sometimes who they say we are may be very different from who we know ourselves to be.
Orpah certainly didn't know when she returned home that people would still be talking about what her decision supposedly said about her character centuries later.
And Oprah knew who she was and how she saw herself long before the world knew her name, whether for good or for bad, gossip or the truth. Ms. Oprah Winfrey knows who she is.
So all of this had me wondering:
What happens when the way I know myself meets the way the world experiences me?
This 12-minute teaching below invites you to start by exploring your own name.
Watch The Meaning of Your Name teaching
And with that question sitting with me, I pulled out my original Rider-Waite-Smith deck to see what might come up.
Now onto the spread.
The Sun Underneath the Deck
The Sun is underneath the deck.
I decided to use the original, the OG Rider-Waite-Smith deck, for this reading because we have been talking so much about original names and origin stories.
What is interesting is that earlier this morning, standing at my altar doing my daily card pull, The Sun was the card I pulled from my Biblical Tarot deck. In that deck, The Sun depicts Jesus riding into Jerusalem on a donkey and is called Triumphant Entry Into Jerusalem.
And now here is The Sun again.
This time, it is the traditional Rider-Waite-Smith image: the child on the back of a white horse, the flowing red cloth, the sunflowers, and the Sun beaming directly at the reader.
With all my thoughts about names, Orpah and Oprah, these two versions of The Sun felt like an almost perfect demonstration of what I have been thinking about.
Same card.
Same archetypal territory.
Different imagery.
Different stories.
Different associations for the person looking at them.
And isn't that part of what happens with our names?
We are given a name, but over time stories, experiences, relationships, accomplishments, mistakes, and other people's ideas about us become associated with that name.
And through all of that:
You can behave inconsistently with yourself and still be yourself.
You can discover something new about yourself and still be yourself.
You can be the villain in somebody else's story and still be yourself.
You can receive applause and still be yourself.
You can get no applause and still be yourself.
You can have the impressive labels and still be yourself.
You can put some of those labels down and still be yourself.
Which brings me right back to the name.
A name can function almost like a little bell.
Someone says:
“Renita.”
I turn my head.
Not because they've recited my résumé. Or because they've adequately captured my essence. My excellence. Not because they've evaluated my worth.
Because somehow that collection of sounds means:
Me.
What were you called before you accomplished anything?
What did someone hope or intend when they gave you that name?
What meanings have other people attached to it?
And after all these years of living it:
What does your name mean because YOU have been the one carrying it?
That's where my thought about Oprah redeeming Orpah comes back around.
She didn't erase Orpah. She didn't change what happened in Orpah's story. And she didn't need to prove the people who came to vilify her later wrong.
She simply lived her own life.
And in doing so, Oprah became a name with its own meaning.
Good, bad, or ugly, when we hear Oprah, we know who we are talking about.
And maybe that's what I like so much about thinking of Oprah and Orpah together.
We are given a name, but then we get a lifetime to give it meaning.
1. Who am I when no one else is in the room?
Queen of Pentacles
I feel this card so deeply.
I love sitting outside on my balcony surrounded by all of my plants, my tomato plants that stay dramatic, my okra, my basil that is doing so good, the Sequoia that has taken over my table space. I feed my birds and the squirrels, sit out there, look around, and I can feel the abundance all around me. I love it.
I feel so abundant. Not because I have all the money in the world. I don't.
But because I can look around and appreciate what I have cultivated.
And that's what I see when I look at the Queen of Pentacles.
I love the way she is sitting there holding her pentacle. Not for the love of money, but with an appreciation for all of the resources, talents, skills, time, and effort she has cultivated and discerningly gives to others.
She isn't holding the pentacle up for everyone else to see.
“LOOK WHAT I HAVE!”
She's looking down at it almost tenderly and saying…
“Look what I have.”
There is a difference.
Nobody else needs to be impressed.
And maybe that is what abundance feels like for me.
Tomatoes I grew.
Okra I grew.
Basil thriving.
Birds I've fed.
Time I've made.
Knowledge I've cultivated.
Skills I've practiced.
Work I've done.
A life I've tended.
And being able to look at all of it and say:
I like this.
And maybe even more importantly:
I like the woman who made this.
Earlier, when I listened to my old teaching about names on my way to the library, I had the thought: I think I just like me. I like the way I teach.
And that is what this Queen reminds me of.
She likes the skills she has cultivated. She likes the seeds she has sown. She likes the time she has created for herself. She knows the value of what she has, and she doesn't need an audience to confirm it for her.
I have also always associated the Queen of Pentacles with the Proverbs 31 woman. I don't do that with all of the Queens. For me, it has always been just her.
And I say Proverbs 31 as if it is my own affirmation.
I am resourceful. I work with my hands. I plant, I provide, I create, I use what I have.
So it makes sense that when I look at the Queen of Pentacles, I recognize myself.
And because of everything I have been contemplating about names, I notice something else.
The card calls her:
Queen of Pentacles.
I have called her for years:
The Proverbs 31 woman.
And today?
She looks a whole lot like me sitting on my balcony.
None of those iterations take away the others. They add another layer of meaning based on my own relationship with the card.
Which brings me right back to Orpah and Oprah.
Orpah accumulated layers of meaning as people interpreted her story.
Oprah lived a life that added new associations to the name.
The Queen of Pentacles comes with traditional tarot meanings, and then I have spent years building my own relationship with her.
Queen of Pentacles.
Proverbs 31 woman.
The woman on the balcony.
And when I asked, Who am I when no one else is in the room?
Renita.
2. Where do I wobble?
What makes it difficult to remain connected to what I know about myself when I come into contact with other people?
The Hermit
The first thing I thought when I saw The Hermit was: the coming into contact with other people part.
Because I really, really do like my alone time. My isolation. My personal development. Learning about all the things all by myself.
I genuinely need solitude. It feeds me. Some of my deepest learning and development happens there.
I can spend a tremendous amount of time in my own little Chiron cave learning, growing, healing, and getting to know myself. And then eventually I have to come out of the cave and deal with other people.
And that is where I wobble.
Because now I have to find out in real life if what I thought I learned, grew through, or healed is actually learned, grown, and healed.
And sometimes it is.
And sometimes I discover:
Oh. I thought I healed that more than I did.
There is definitely a wobble.
The Hermit is where I would love to stay, but I also know that I can only discover how much I have healed by eventually coming out of the cave and being in relationship with other people.
Maybe the wobble happens at the threshold of the cave.
When private knowing meets lived experience.
Because if I think about the Queen of Pentacles from the first card, much of my certainty about who I know myself to be has been cultivated where nobody can interfere with it.
On my balcony.
At my altar.
Reading.
Writing.
Learning.
Thinking.
All by myself.
And now here comes this Leo/Aquarius Full Moon axis pulling me toward contact.
Ahhhhh!!!!
Toward the group.
Toward the audience.
Toward relationship.
Toward the world.
That's the field test.
And when I come out and discover that something isn't as healed as I thought it was, that doesn't mean the work I did in the cave wasn't real.
It just gives me more information to take back into the cave with me.
Maybe that's the relationship between solitude and relationship that I'm beginning to understand.
Solitude gives me somewhere to know myself.
Relationship gives me somewhere to practice being myself. Even if I don't wanna.
3. Relationship ~ What am I learning about loyalty?
What is relationship teaching me now about loyalty ~ to others, to what I value, and to myself?
Ten of Wands
I kind of like this one.
The first thing I thought was:
It is time to stop being loyal to everyone.
I am so freaking loyal. Like…loyal, loyal.
And sometimes that loyalty looks like picking up everybody else's wands until I can't even see where I am going anymore ~ or maybe how close I actually am to my own destination.
Look at ol' dude on this card.
His destination is right there.
We can see it.
He can't.
His entire field of vision is obstructed by everything he is carrying.
And I started thinking about how easily loyalty can become carrying.
But I've always carried this.
They've always depended on me for this.
We've been doing this together for years.
What will happen if I put my part down?
What does it say about me if I leave?
Recently, I happened upon the story of Virgil Abloh, owner of a luxury streetwear clothing line and creative artistic director of the Louis Vuitton Men's House. Before all that, in my understanding of the story, he had to make a decision between remaining loyal to the work and relationship he had built with Kanye West and following his own dreams and opportunities.
He followed his own dreams.
I thought about how difficult that choice must have been.
Because sometimes choosing yourself doesn't happen because someone else has done something terrible. Sometimes nothing has to be wrong with what you have been carrying.
It just may not be yours to carry anymore.
And maybe that is part of what I am learning about loyalty.
Not everyone deserves loyalty merely because they have had access to me.
Not every relationship deserves the same degree of loyalty.
Not every commitment needs to be carried to completion simply because Renita once picked it up.
And perhaps most importantly:
Putting down a wand does not retroactively erase the love with which I carried it.
That one got me.
Because maybe putting something down doesn't mean I was wrong for picking it up.
Maybe leaving doesn't mean the relationship wasn't real.
Maybe choosing a different destination doesn't require me to make someone else, or myself, the villain.
Maybe sometimes I can simply say:
I carried this as far as I could carry it.
4. What must I remember when the group names me differently than I name myself?
Four of Swords
The first thing I thought was:
Rest.
The second thing I thought was:
Rest my mind.
And the third thing I thought was:
It is none of my business what other people think of me.
Everyone has their own narrative about who I am. Apparently, within the Goddesses community, I have a reputation that precedes me. My sister has her version of me. My sons have theirs. My mother has hers. My daughter has hers.
And it really doesn't matter what they think of me, or at least, it is none of my business.
Because I can go right back into my little Hermit cave and instead of being alone, bring an entire imaginary jury in there with me.
Why did she say that?
Does she think I'm selfish?
Maybe I shouldn't have said that.
I wonder what they're saying now.
Should I explain?
Maybe if they knew the whole story…
Now Aquarius has followed me into the cave.
And the Four of Swords says:
Everybody OUT.
My mind needs rest from other people's narratives about me.
Which brings me right back to Orpah.
Orpah had no idea any of this was coming.
She left Naomi and returned home, as Naomi had asked her to do. And that is the last we see of her in the biblical story.
The interpretations came later.
Orpah couldn't issue a statement.
She couldn't clarify her intentions.
She couldn't say, Actually, here's what happened after I went home.
She couldn't control what generations of people would eventually make her decision mean.
And I think there is something important for me in that.
There is a point at which the story leaves my hands.
Other people get to have their experience of me. They get to interpret me. They get to tell their own stories about their experiences with me.
And I don't have to climb into their story and start editing.
Maybe that's what the Four of Swords is asking me to rest from.
And it brings me back to the teaching about our names that started this whole conversation.
In that teaching, I invited the Goddesses to think about the difference between how they see themselves and how they have been seen or named by others.
But this Full Moon has me asking another question:
Once I know my own name, can I let other people keep their versions of me without needing to manage them or try to control the narrative?
Because participating in community means I am going to be perceived.
There is no way around that.
And if I step onto that Leo stage?
Well, there are even more people in the audience.
5. Who is the woman who steps onto the stage?
Ace of Wands
Wow. What a fiery, passionate card.
When I saw the Ace of Wands, I immediately thought about my original passion. My enthusiasm. My excitement. The why behind why I am doing any of this in the first place.
This is passion before I know what I am going to do with it.
It is still in that place of:
Let's see what happens.
Let's see what develops.
The Ace of Wands doesn't step onto the stage saying:
Look at my expertise.
Look at everything I've accomplished.
Here is my perfectly developed offering.
Here is why I deserve to be here.
She comes carrying:
I am excited about this.
And I really like that.
Because maybe the Leo stage isn't just a place I go to perform.
Maybe it is a place I get to play.
Create.
Experiment.
Get excited.
Have an idea and say:
“Y'all, I don't completely know what this is going to become yet, but COME LOOK.”
That feels like Ace of Wands energy to me.
I don't always know what something is going to become when I begin. Sometimes I'm simply interested.
Like my Orpah/Oprah story. Like my Virgil/Kanye story. I get interested, follow the thread, and somehow it leads me somewhere I didn't know I was going. Sometimes it gets me a whole newsletter.
6. How do I remain in relationship with myself while in relationship with the world?
The Emperor
Oh, interesting.
Being the authority over my own life.
I think part of what scares me about being in relationship with the world is the fear that somehow I will lose authority over my own life.
People have ideas about what I should be doing.
People who love me have ideas about what I should be doing.
People I respect have ideas about what I should be doing.
People I am in community with have ideas about what I should be doing.
And sometimes I can become so protective of my own path that I get defensive. Not just a little defensive either. Defensive enough that other people can feel it.
But there is an interesting contradiction there.
I can be fiercely protective of my own path while still carrying everybody else's wands.
Their expectations.
Their needs.
Their ideas about what I should be doing.
So of course everybody can start to feel like a potential threat to the path I am trying so hard to protect.
And then here comes The Emperor.
Authority.
Maybe I don't have to defend my authority over my own life quite so fiercely if I actually trust that I have authority.
Because advice isn't authority.
Someone can have an idea about my life without getting to decide how I live it.
Someone can disagree with my decision without having veto power.
Someone can be disappointed in my choice without making the choice wrong.
Someone can know more than I do about something, and I can listen, learn, and even change my mind because they offered me good counsel without surrendering authority over my own life.
And this feels so Leo/Aquarius to me.
Aquarius reminds me that I don't exist by myself. I am part of families, relationships, communities, and groups. Other people have voices. Their experiences and perspectives matter.
But Leo reminds me that I am still an individual within the collective.
Everybody gets a voice. Not everybody gets a vote.
And ultimately, when it comes to my own life:
I hold the deciding vote.
Your Turn
This is what came up for me as I sat with this Leo/Aquarius Full Moon, but as always, I invite you to see what comes up for you.
You can use the same six-card spread I used:
1. Self ~ Who am I when no one else is in the room?
2. The Wobble ~ What makes it difficult to remain connected to what I know about myself when I come into contact with other people?
3. Relationship ~ What am I learning about loyalty?What is relationship teaching me now about loyalty ~ to others, to what I value, and to myself?
4. The Group ~ What must I remember when the group names me differently than I name myself?
5. The Stage ~ Who is the person who steps onto the stage?
6. Relationship with Self ~ How do I remain in relationship with myself while in relationship with the world?
You don't have to know anything about astrology to sit with these questions. Pull your cards, journal your responses, or simply choose the question that catches your attention and start there.
And if you haven't watched the teaching on the meaning of your name yet, you can begin there too.
Maybe start with the simplest question of all:
What's your name?
Hi, I'm Renita. Nice to meet you.
